Perfectionism
Perfectionism. “n. the tendency to demand of others or of oneself an extremely high or even flawless level of performance, in excess of what is required by the situation. It is associated with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and other mental health problems. —perfectionist adj., n.”
APA Dictionary of Psychology
When you’re not immobilized by the fear of failure, you’re triple checking (and maybe redoing) your work to ensure it’s rid of any mistakes. Manage to pull it off? What a relief! Crisis averted. Your self-talk when you don’t meet the standard though would make any self-respecting person clutch their pearls. Other people talk about perfectionism as a positive trait, but it’s not feeling all that praiseworthy to you.
Any of these sound familiar?
Turning in a partially completed (or late) assignment because you spent so long perfecting the first half
Beating yourself up for days after making a mistake or receiving constructive feedback
Often feeling disappointed or underwhelmed by others’ performance
Procrastinating on tasks that you’re not ready to do “correctly”
Avoiding activities that you’re not immediately good at
Yeah, me too. These experiences aren’t shining examples of achievement for a reason—perfectionism results in inaction and defeat as often as it does high-quality work. And, unfortunately, the downsides of this trait can pave the way for burnout, depression, anxiety, and other challenges.
But all traits can be strengths as well as weaknesses (yes, all of them). And your perfectionism doesn’t have to get in the way of the joyful life you want.
People smarter than me have created therapies that offer gifts to perfectionists—ways to bring flexibility and openness to an otherwise rigid frame of mind.
If we work together, I’ll walk you through exercises to help you loosen the reigns in areas where it doesn’t really need to be perfect. This process includes:
making peace with that harsh inner critic,
practicing compassion for yourself and others (no, this doesn’t mean you’ll throw out all your standards and stop trying), and
challenging the rules you’ve lived by that don’t truly align with your values.
We can make your perfectionism work for you.
Click below to schedule your free 15-minute consultation.