Perfectionism

Perfectionism. “n. the tendency to demand of others or of oneself an extremely high or even flawless level of performance, in excess of what is required by the situation. It is associated with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and other mental health problems. —perfectionist adj., n.”

APA Dictionary of Psychology

When you’re not frozen by the fear of failure, you’re re-checking (and maybe redoing) your work to ensure it’s rid of any mistakes. When it’s finally done right? What a relief! Crisis averted. But your inner critic has a different take when things don’t meet the impossibly high standard you set. Others may compliment your perfectionism, but it doesn’t feel so praiseworthy to you when it leaves you feeling exhausted and defeated.

Does this sound familiar?

  • Turning in a project at the last minute (possibly incomplete) because you spent so long perfecting one part of it

  • Beating yourself up for days after making a mistake or getting feedback

  • Frequently feeling disappointed or underwhelmed by others’ efforts or results

  • Procrastinating on tasks until you feel ready to do them “perfectly”

  • Avoiding activities you’re not immediately good at

Yeah, me too. Perfectionism isn’t the badge of honor it may seem like on the outside. The pursuit of flawlessness often leads to inaction, stress, and disappointment. Over time, this drive for perfection can pave the way for burnout, anxiety, and depression.

Woman painting a mural outside

But here’s the good news: perfectionism doesn’t have to hold you back from living the life you truly want. Every trait, no matter how challenging, can be shaped into a source of strength when viewed with compassion.

People smarter than me have developed therapeutic tools that offer freedom from perfectionism—ways to soften the rigidity and open your heart to more grace. Together, we can:

  • Make peace with that harsh inner critic, so it doesn’t dictate your worth

  • Practice self-compassion, understanding that striving for excellence doesn’t mean abandoning kindness to yourself

  • Challenge the rules you’ve lived by, especially those that no longer align with your values and purpose

With time, you’ll find that imperfection can coexist with grace—and that letting go of the need for everything to be “just right” opens the door to more joy, connection, and peace.

Ready to embrace grace over perfection?

Click below to schedule your free 15-minute consultation, and let’s explore how to bring flexibility and freedom back into your life.